This week, Inventory breaks format a bit to offer a glossary of terms deployed in the Beastie Boys’ lyrics. (Hat tip to beastiemania.com for serving as an invaluable research tool.)

Albee Square Mall (“Dedication,” Hello Nasty / “Hey Fuck You,” To The 5 Boroughs)A mall on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn, since cleared out for a mixed-use development. Biz Markie wrote a whole song about it on Goin Off, “Albee Square Mall,” which proclaimed, “My house is the Albee Square Mall.”

Alex and Marilyn (“The Grasshopper Unit (Keep Movin’),” Hello Nasty)Hollywood producer Alex Grasshoff and his wife, recording-studio-owner Marilyn, who rented their one-bedroom L.A. home the Beasties during the recording of Paul’s Boutique; it was nicknamed “The G-Spot” for the gold “G” on the front of the house. The Grasshoffs had no idea who the Beasties were—or their reputation for partying—when they rented the house to them for $11,000 a month.

All-Tempa-Cheer (“Triple Trouble,” To The 5 Boroughs)An old name of the laundry detergent Cheer, an abbreviation of “All Temperature Cheer,” as it was known beginning in the early ’60s.

Anastos, Ernie (“Finger Lickin’ Good,” Check Your Head)As regular viewers of New York City local newscasts know, Anastos is a longtime TV anchor. He gained national notoriety in 2009 when he mistakenly said, “keep fucking that chicken”—which sort of sounds like a Beastie Boys lyric—during a live broadcast. 

Andretti, Mario (“Shadrach,” Paul’s Boutique)Italian-American race-car driver Mario Andretti competed successfully on multiple racing circuits—including IndyCar, Formula One, and NASCAR—between 1959 and his final retirement in 2000. Like nearly all professional racers, Andretti did crash from time to time, proving that he did not “always drive his car well.”

Apple Bottom jeans (“Lee Majors Come Again,” Hot Sauce Committee Part Two)Apple Bottoms, a clothing line created by Nelly, offers a line of jeans specifically tailored to hug and flatter the curves of women with voluptuous posteriors. The term “apple bottom” has subsequently become synonymous with aesthetically pleasing asses. 

Asana (“Unite,” Hello Nasty)A type of yoga posture. It’s intended to maintain well-being and, as Mike D points out, improve flexibility. 

Ben Davis (“Professor Booty,” Check Your Head)This line of work clothes has long been popular in the West Coat rap community and among Latin youths. It once carried the logo, “Union Made Plenty Tough,” inspiring the line “The logo I sport is the face of the monkey, union-made Ben Davis quality, it’s no junk see.” But after union workers went on strike in 2004, it now reads “USA Made Plenty Tough.” 

Bernard, Evan (“Get It Together,” Ill Communication)Music video and commercial director whose work includes the “Root Down” video, ads for Red Stripe, and the short film “Pound.”

The Blackbyrds, (“Do It,” Ill Communication)Jazz/R&B/funk crossover group whose members included star trumpeter Donald Byrd. Byrd also recruited some of his students as band members. The group’s hits include “Walking In Rhythm” and “Do It, Fluid,” referenced directly in “Do It.”

Blimpie Bluffin (“Rhyme The Rhyme Well,” To The 5 Boroughs)The Beastie Boys reference the Blimpie subway-sandwich chain a few times in their songs, but this one calls out Blimpie’s breakfast sandwich/McMuffin knockoff, the Bluffin. It also gets name-checked in “Too Many Rappers,” a Nas-assisted song on the new Hot Sauce Committee Part II.

Bloopers (“Crawlspace,” To The 5 Boroughs)TV’s Bloopers And Practical Jokes, the hidden-camera show hosted by Dick Clark and Ed McMahon in the mid-’80s.

Bodé, Vaughn / Cheech Wizard (“Sure Shot,” Ill Communiation), (“The Sounds Of Science,” Paul’s Boutique)Cartoonist Vaughn Bodé created the big-hatted, slick-talking psychedelic mystic Cheech Wizard early in his too-brief career, and drew the character in underground comics and national magazines alike until his death in 1975. (Though Cheech Wizard was just as well known for being spray-painted on walls by enthusiastic fans).

Brass Monkey (“Brass Monkey,” Licensed To Ill)The world sang along with “Brass Monkey” without knowing precisely what the song was championing. Depending on who you’re talking to, it’s either a 40-ounce bottle of malt liquor, consumed to the top of the label and then re-filled with orange juice, or simply a cocktail made with rum, vodka, and orange juice. Either way, “double R foots the bill most definitely”—that’d be Rick Rubin.

Brim (“Root Down,” Ill Communication)A brand of decaffeinated instant coffee, Brim’s ads frequently included the line “Fill it to the rim… with Brim” (hence the “Root Down” line “I’ll fill you to the fuckin’ rim like Brim”).

Captain Bligh, Col. Sanders, Davy Jones’ locker (“Rhymin’ And Stealin’,” Licensed To Ill)The Beasties trip through maritime history without a compass here: Captain Bligh survived the mutiny on the HMS Bounty; Colonel Sanders made chicken with 11 herbs and spices; Davy Jones’ locker is the bottom of the sea—where dead sailors dwell.

Carew, Rod (“Sure Shot,” Ill Communiation)A Hall Of Fame second baseman, Carew’s career stretched from 1967 to 1985 and included long stints with the Minnesota Twins and the California Angels. (Both teams retired his number.)

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1. Inteligentne Domy Says:
   August 7th, 2011 at 11:36 pm

   Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is excellent blog. A great read. I’ll definitely be back.